Subject: Sports (Page 68)

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.

professional golfer
Misspokements Sports

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing at you.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Emotions Golf Laughter Sports

He (Don Drysdale) talks very well for a guy who's had two fingers in his mouth all his life.

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

It shows what you can accomplish if you stay up all night drinking whiskey all the time.

Restaurant owner
Baseball Sports

If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.

Anglo-Irish golfer
Golf Sports

Consistently, he’s not able to do that all the time.

Football Misspokements Sports

I remember one time going out to the mound to talk with Bob Gibson. He told me to get back behind the batter, that the only thing I knew about pitching was that it was hard to hit.

American baseball player & commentator
Baseball Sports

I know it's said that I can't punch, but you should see me putting the cat out at night.

boxer
Boxing Sports

That putt had more breaks than a government job.

golf writer
Golf Sports

If there’s a pileup, they’ll have to give some of the players artificial insemination.

(1919 – 2006) American sports announcer
Football Misspokements Sports

Sleep came as it must come to all British heavyweights, midway in the fifth round.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Boxing Sports

He just got me in the right spot. In the small of the back. A good, clean, dirty hit… not that I didn't deserve it.

American hockey player
Hockey Sports

Reggie Jackson wouldn’t get into the batter’s box until he knew we were back from commercial; of course, [Bob] Uecker wanted to hit during the commercial.

sports announcer
Baseball Sports

It was about three-to-one that I was not an SOB.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Why waltz 10 rounds with an opponent if you can KO him in one?

American boxing champion
Boxing

Any umpire who lasts five years in the minor leagues deserves to be immortalized; any umpire who lasts ten or more years in the minors deserves to be institutionalized.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire
Baseball Sports

Two hundred million Americans, and there ain’t two good catchers among ‘em.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
America Baseball People Sports

The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes.

(1927 – ) British journalist & author
Golf Sports

Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver; the sand wedge is far more effective.

Golf Sports

Five days shalt thou labour, as the Bible says. The seventh day is the Lord thy God's. The sixth day is for football.

(1917 – 1993) British composer & novelist
Football Sports

I've thrown or broken a few clubs in my day. In fact, I guess at one time or another I probably held distance records for every club in the bag.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports