Subject: Success

You have to give Pete credit for what he's accomplished; he never went to college and the only book he ever read was The Pete Rose Story.

Ex-wife of Pete Rose
Baseball Sports Success

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Success World

Success doesn’t teach as many lessons as failure does.


Failure Success

Make a sex tape, upload it, get on a reality show, release a perfume, retire… that’s the new American dream.

(1974 – ) American comedian
Success

If the experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.

Murphy’s Laws Success

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Husbands Men People Success Wives Women

I don't want to get so famous to where the guy who shoots me becomes famous.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Conflict Killing Success

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Food/Drink Money Success

It’s a little like wrestling a gorilla; you don’t quit when you’re tired—you quit when the gorilla is tired.

(1913 – 1975) American actor
Success

Success is like toilet paper; it only seems important when you don’t have it.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Success

All my life affection has been showered on me, and every forward step I have made has been taken in spite of it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
People Self Success

When someone follows you all the way to the shop and watches you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed.

(1969 – ) American actress, film director & producer
Life Success

You can always tell luck from ability by its duration.

Success

If at first you don't succeed, try try again… then quit; there's no use being a damn fool about it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Failure Situations Success

From Poland to polo in one generation.

(1953 – ) Romanian-born American screenwriter
Success

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that is the way to bet.

(1990 – 1946) newspaperman & writer
Activities Success

Political success is the ability, when the inevitable occurs, to get credit for it.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Politics Success

When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.

(1933 – 1998) comedian & actor
Characteristics Success

Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

Seven months ago I could give a single command and 541,000 people would immediately obey it; today I can’t get a plumber to come to my house.

(1934 – 2012) United States Army general
Occupations Success Work

He’s like the first guy, like, from my reading level, you know — the first guy, like, from my math class to finally go out and do something!

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Education Success