Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 3)

[preparing to dynamite the gopher tunnel] In the immortal words of Jean Paul Sartre, ‘Au revoir, gopher.’

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

A wise man never tries to warm himself in front of a painting of a fire.

(1928 – 1994) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Many a man's lost his best friend by marrying her.

(1908 – 2003) American actor & dancer
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Ouiser could never stay mad at me; she worships the quicksand I walk on.

(1931 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

You’d think I was Lazarus rising from the bed.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

If frogs couldn't hop, I'd be gone with the Schwinn.

(1936 – 1990) cartoonist, screenwriter, director & creator of the Muppets
TV/Movie Quotes

It’s not a date. We’re just agreeing to eat at the same table.

(1942 – ) American singer-songwriter, actress, writer, film producer & director
Dating Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

Oh, right! To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I’ve known sheep that could outwit you. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs!


Stupidity TV/Movie Quotes

I have an interesting case. I’ m treating two sets of Siamese twins with split personalities. I’ m getting paid by eight people.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

No, no, you’ve always had that wrong about me. I really am this shallow.

(1960 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes

He’s perfect for her – he has no apparent spine, and she can wrap him round her little finger.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
TV/Movie Quotes

One of these days I’m gonna dehead myself.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Sharp as a sack full of wet mice.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Insults Stupidity TV/Movie Quotes

There are three acceptable haircuts: high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
Appearance Hair TV/Movie Quotes

Joe Grant: “You bastard!”
’Rico’ Fardan: Yes sir. In my case an accident of birth. But you sir are a self-made man.

(1924 – 1987) American actor
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

So we finish 18 and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, ‘Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.’ And he says, ‘Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ … So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Look, you’re always such a nice guy. But let’s face it, we have nothing in common except sex and the fact that you idolize me.

(1964 – ) Australian model, television host & actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Oh, I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

One time I accidentally drank an entire bottle of vinegar… I thought it was terrible wine.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
TV/Movie Quotes

George: I should get to sleep with Elaine. That’s the only way to punish you.

Jerry: That doesn’t punish me. That punishes Elaine.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Eddie: Where’s my thing? You know, my thing… my vibrating thing…

Patsy: Right by your bedside drawer, darling.

Eddie: Not THAT, not THAT!… My beeper, my beeper!

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
TV/Movie Quotes