TV/Movie Quotes | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 55)

It passes outta you through your lower intestubes.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

Woody Allen

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Insults TV/Movie Quotes From “What’ s Up Tigerlily?”

Never play in a rigged game, unless you rig it yourself.

James Garner

(1928 – 2014) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Bret Maverick in “Maverick”

It’s a point or setter plant.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes Poinsettia

[to a waitress in a bar] Bring a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until someone passes out… and then bring one every ten minutes.

Rodney Dangerfield

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Thornton Melon in “Back to School”

[Leonard & Alice are kissing] Leonard: Damn it, I can’t. I can’t do this.
Alice: Is it my tongue stud? ‘Cause if that freaks you out, you’re in for a real surprise later on.

Courtney Ford

(1978 – ) American actress

Sex TV/Movie Quotes As Alice in “The Big Bang Theory”

Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

Peter Graves

(1926 – 2010) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Captain Oveur in “Airplane!”

The presidential race continued to tighten up – in fact, according to some polls, John McCain is only 6 points behind Sarah Palin.

Amy Poehler

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer

Elections/Voting TV/Movie Quotes From Weekend Update on “Saturday Night Live”

Poor Emily. It’s so sad that she mixed drugs and alcohol and spent the night with you… when most people only die.

Marilu Henner

(1952 – ) American actress, producer, radio host, & author

TV/Movie Quotes As Elaine Nardo in “Taxi” To Louie

Ed: [to Mitch] That was flirting.
Mitch: No, that was… politeness. That was “have a pleasant and restful evening.”
Ed: No, that was “I like your ass. Can I wear it as a hat?”

Bruno Kirby

(1949 – 2006) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Ed Furillo in “City Slickers” Flirting

I really must run. I’m due at my sexual addiction group, and I don’t like to leave them alone for too long.

David Hyde Pierce

(1959 – ) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Niles Crane in “Frasier”

So many assholes… so few bullets…

Andrew Dice Clay

(1957 – ) American comedian & actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Ford Fairlane in “The Adventures of Ford Fairlane”

When life gives you lemons, just say ‘Fuck the lemons’ and bail.

Paul Rudd

(1969 - ) American actor, comedian, & screenwriter

Life Problems TV/Movie Quotes As Surfing instructor in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”

I can’t give you brains, but I can give you a diploma.

Frank Morgan

(1890 – 1949) American actor

Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes Diploma

Patsy: What will you drink if you stop drinking?
Edina: I shall drink water.
Patsy: [Blank look]
Edina: It’s a mixer, Patsy, we have it with whisky.

Jennifer Saunders

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress

Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes As Edina (Eddie) in “Absolutely Fabulous”

I'm not prudish or anything, but my mother warned me not enter a man's room first in any month ending in ‘R.’

Deborah Kerr

(1921 – 2007) Scottish-born actress

Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

George: I should get to sleep with Elaine. That’s the only way to punish you.
Jerry: That doesn’t punish me. That punishes Elaine.

Jerry Seinfeld

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

TV/Movie Quotes

Important announcement: [to campers] Some hunters have been seen in the woods near Piney Ridge trail and the fish and game commission has raised the legal kill limit on campers to three. So, if you’re hiking today, please wear something bright and keep low.

Bill Murray

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian

TV/Movie Quotes As Tripper in “Meatballs”

It’s not something you can just run away from like a hotel bill… or a crying baby.

Megan Mullally

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

TV/Movie Quotes As Karen Walker on “Will & Grace”

Frasier: Thanks, Niles. You are a good brother and a credit to the psychiatric profession.
Niles: You’re a good brother, too.

David Hyde Pierce

(1959 – ) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Niles Crane in “Frasier”

Maybe I oughta get one of them priests in to exercise with her.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes Exorcise

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Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 55)

It passes outta you through your lower intestubes.

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

Never play in a rigged game, unless you rig it yourself.

It’s a point or setter plant.

[to a waitress in a bar] Bring a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until someone passes out… and then bring one every ten minutes.

[Leonard & Alice are kissing] Leonard: Damn it, I can’t. I can’t do this.
Alice: Is it my tongue stud? ‘Cause if that freaks you out, you’re in for a real surprise later on.

Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

The presidential race continued to tighten up – in fact, according to some polls, John McCain is only 6 points behind Sarah Palin.

Poor Emily. It’s so sad that she mixed drugs and alcohol and spent the night with you… when most people only die.

Ed: [to Mitch] That was flirting.
Mitch: No, that was… politeness. That was “have a pleasant and restful evening.”
Ed: No, that was “I like your ass. Can I wear it as a hat?”

I really must run. I’m due at my sexual addiction group, and I don’t like to leave them alone for too long.

So many assholes… so few bullets…

When life gives you lemons, just say ‘Fuck the lemons’ and bail.

I can’t give you brains, but I can give you a diploma.

Patsy: What will you drink if you stop drinking?
Edina: I shall drink water.
Patsy: [Blank look]
Edina: It’s a mixer, Patsy, we have it with whisky.

I'm not prudish or anything, but my mother warned me not enter a man's room first in any month ending in ‘R.’

George: I should get to sleep with Elaine. That’s the only way to punish you.
Jerry: That doesn’t punish me. That punishes Elaine.

Important announcement: [to campers] Some hunters have been seen in the woods near Piney Ridge trail and the fish and game commission has raised the legal kill limit on campers to three. So, if you’re hiking today, please wear something bright and keep low.

It’s not something you can just run away from like a hotel bill… or a crying baby.

Frasier: Thanks, Niles. You are a good brother and a credit to the psychiatric profession.
Niles: You’re a good brother, too.

Maybe I oughta get one of them priests in to exercise with her.