TV/Movie Quotes | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 67)

I’ll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I’ll even bring home a whole maggot.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

With the Crane boys genes and Lilith’s contribution, I’m not sure the NFL is holding it’s breath.

Kelsey Grammer

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

TV/Movie Quotes As Frasier Crane in “Frasier” Of his son

Susan: Arthur, will you take my hand?
Arthur: That would leave you with one!

Dudley Moore

(1935 – 2002) English actor, comedian, composer & musician

TV/Movie Quotes As Arthur in “Arthur”

Cliff: If I wasn’t wearing this uniform, I’d ask you to step outside.
Norm: If you weren’t wearing that uniform, we’d all step outside.

Norm

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Norm Peterson in “Cheers”

Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes.

Rodney Dangerfield

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Beer Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes As Thornton Melon in “Back to School”

Next to Sammy’s life, my life has always appeared dull. Then again, next to a barnacle’s life, my life has always appeared dull.

Norm

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Life TV/Movie Quotes As Norm Peterson in “Cheers”

We're on a mission from God.

Dan Aykroyd

(1952 – ) Canadian comedian, actor, screenwriter & singer

TV/Movie Quotes As Elwood in “The Blues Brothers”

You're trying to make me mad. Well, it didn't work on our wedding night and it won't work now.

Katey Sagal

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter

TV/Movie Quotes As Peg Bundy in “Married With Children” Wedding night

Morticia: You have gone too far. You have married Fester. You have destroyed his spirit. You have taken him from us. All that I could forgive. But, Debbie…
Debbie: What?
Morticia: Pastels?

Angelica Huston

(1951 – ) American actress & director

TV/Movie Quotes As Morticia Addams in “Addams Family Values”

Renaissance fairs aren’t about historical accuracy, they’re about taking chubby girls who work at Kinko’s and lacing them up in corsets so tight their bosoms jump out and say “Howdy”.

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

TV/Movie Quotes As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory” Renaissance fairs

Ooo, she’s so cold, sweetie! I’ll just bet she has her period in cubes.

Jennifer Saunders

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress

TV/Movie Quotes As Edina (Eddie) in “Absolutely Fabulous”

Aunt Esther: Fred Sanford, the wrath of God will strike you down.
Fred: And this Louisville slugger will knock you out.

Redd Foxx

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

TV/Movie Quotes As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

When I die, I want it to be on my 100the birthday, in my beach house on Maui and I want my husband to be so upset he has to drop out of college.

Peri Gilpin

(1961 – ) American actress

Death Relationships TV/Movie Quotes As Roz Doyle in “Frasier”

It took me 20 years to memorize the deformaties of the room.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Bob Porter: Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.

Ron Livingston

(1967 – ) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes Work As Peter Gibbons in “Office Space”

Mary Jo: We think that your friend, Monette might be practicing the oldest profession.
Charlene: You think that Monette is a carpenter?

Jean Smart

(1951 – ) American actress

TV/Movie Quotes As Charlene in “Designing Women” Prostitution

They didn't have any aspirin, so I got you some cigarettes.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Cigarettes

Kelly: Topeka! I have found it!
Peggy: I don’t think you mean “Topeka.”
Kelly: Oh yeah. Urethra! I have found it!

Christina Applegate

(1971 – ) American actress

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children” Eureka

Blanche Genaro: Look at him, he’s such a beautiful boy! He’s got my eyes!
John Genaro: And he’s got my nose!
Monty: Yeah, and my sympathy.

Rodney Dangerfield

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Monty Capuletti in “Easy Money”

Dr. Arthur Harmon: [Looking at Maude’s black eye] If the Our Gang” comedies ever come back, you could be the dog.
Maude: And if Mister Ed ever comes back, there’d be a part for you. I’m not talking about the part that talks.

Bea Arthur

(1922 – 2009) American actress & singer

TV/Movie Quotes As Maude Findlay in “Maude”

Howard: The doctor says you’ve got to get exercise.
Mrs. Wolowitz: I get plenty of exercise.
Howard: Crushing my will to live isn’t exercise!