Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 74)

My brain beats faster.

(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Lobster Greenberg

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Farm: A hunk of land on which, if you get up early enough mornings and work late enough nights, you’ll make a fortune – if you strike oil on it.

(1896 – 1988) American actor
Definitions TV/Movie Quotes

Suppose you get an attack of gastriasis in the middle of the night.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

[on George Burns’s 100th birthday] I don’t know the secret to his longevity, but I think I speak for all of us when I say I hope Pauly Shore doesn’t know it either.

(1963 – ) Canadian writer, actor & stand-up comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

They’ve found a way to bring the charm of an airport to a midtown location.

(1959 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Striker, listen, and you listen close: flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

(1919 – 2003) American actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

The sea was angry that day my friends… like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.

(1959 – ) American actor, director, writer, singer & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Wednesday: Pass the salt.
Morticia: And what do we say?
Wednesday: NOW!

(1980 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Hat check girl: Goodness, what beautiful diamonds!

Maudie: Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
TV/Movie Quotes

Two thousand dollars for ice? I can get an Eskimo for two hundred dollars and make my own ice.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

What is all this talk about the Supreme Court decision on a deaf penalty?

(1946 – 1989) comedian & actress
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Patsy: What will you drink if you stop drinking?
Edina: I shall drink water.
Patsy: [Blank look]
Edina: It’s a mixer, Patsy, we have it with whisky.

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Tony: You mean, they didn’t tell you they were going to tear down your apartment building?

Jim: Well, you put up with a few minor inconveniences when you live in a condemned building.

(1938 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

[on phone] No, the doctor isn’t in just now. Oh, he won’t be back for a long, long time. He went out on one of those eternity cases.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

What was I thinking when I said “I do”? I’d already had sex with her; I didn’t need that again.

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage Sex TV/Movie Quotes

I wore flowers in my hair and meditated for hours on end. I was finding God all over the place… He kept ditching me.

(1938 – ) American actor
God TV/Movie Quotes

Ted Striker: Surely you can’t be serious?
Dr. Rumack I am serious… and don’t all me Shirley.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Carla: I have a way with inanimate objects.

Cliff: Maybe you’d like to take a crack at Norm here.

(1947 – ) American actor & entrepreneur
Things TV/Movie Quotes

[on his donation of a building] I hereby dedicate this building to… myself.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Drebin: Do you think you can beat the champ?

Briggs: I can take him blindfolded.

Drebin: What if he’s not blindfolded?

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes