Subject: Work » Occupations (Page 3)

The only difference between a “hair stylist” and a regular barber is the price.

Occupations Work

Dentist: A collector of old magazines.

Definitions Occupations

Should not the Society of Indexers be known as Indexers Society of, The?

(1929 – 2009) British novelist, newspaper columnist & television writer
Occupations Wordplay Work

A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

(1911 – ) American editor & writer
Government Occupations

I got a new job stitching shoes; it was so-so.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Occupations Work

In Manhattan, every flat surface is a potential stage and every inattentive waiter an unemployed, possibly unemployable, actor.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
New York City Occupations Places Work

Sanitation Worker: The title conferred on garbage men when they  started earning more than public school teachers.

Definitions Occupations

Ambassador: An honest man sent abroad to lie for the good of his country.

(1568 – 1639) English author, diplomat & politician
Government Occupations

I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, “I wanna grow up and be a critic.”

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor
Communication Occupations Work

Barber: A brilliant conversationalist who cuts hair for a sideline.

Conversation Definitions Occupations

Acting is a form of confusion.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Acting Entertainment Occupations Work

You think when gym teachers are younger, they’re thinking, “You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read?”

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Education Occupations Work

We’re all endowed with God-given talents… mine happens to be hitting people in the head.

American boxing champion
Boxing Occupations Sports

[Critics] search for ages for the wrong word, which, to give them credit, they eventually find.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Communication Occupations Work

Nurses: Patient people.

Definitions Health Occupations

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Money Occupations People Work

Every woman should marry an archaeologist because she grows increasingly attractive to him as she grows increasingly to resemble a ruin.

(1890 – 1976) British crime writer of novels, short stories & plays
Appearance Occupations Work

Do they give pilots crash courses in flight school?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Occupations Wordplay Work

Writing is the hardest way of earning a living, with the possible exception of wrestling alligators.

(1918 - 2002) American author
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing Work

Statistician: One who knows which numbers to use in any eventuality.

Definitions Occupations

Executive: A man who talks to visitors so the other employees can get their work done.

Definitions Occupations Work