Author: Anonymous Page 127

What if there were no hypothetical situations?

Situations

“The bank doesn’t want me as a customer,” said Tom unaccountably.

Tom Swifties

Altar: To change through marriage.

Definitions Marriage

Time may be a great healer, but’s it’s a lousy beautician.

Appearance Health Time

“Can I become a chorister?” Tom inquired.

Tom Swifties

Numismatics: Collecting money for fun.

Definitions

Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Computers Definitions Things

He was bothered mentally mainly by the physical plague.

Mixed metaphors

Etiquette: The noise you don’t make while eating soup.

Definitions

“Strike three,” Tom called out.

Tom Swifties

Debts: The certain outcome of an uncertain income.

Definitions Money

Social Diseases: Germs of endearment.

Definitions

“They had to amputate them both at the ankles,” said Tom defeatedly.

Tom Swifties

Window Shopping: Eye browsing.

Activities Definitions Shopping

Trombones: Bones in an orchestra.

Definitions

Psychology: The science that tells you what you already know in words you can’t understand.

Definitions Science/Weather

.. drawing the eye… like a magnet

Mixed metaphors

Some people sail through life on a bed of roses like a knife slicing through butter.

Mixed metaphors

Testosterone: Hormone which causes facial hair, muscularity, a deep voice, speeding tickets, the desire to watch professional wrestling, Arnold Shwarzenegger movies, war, fist fights, and the need to purchase cocktails for women with names like “Boom Boom. ”

Definitions Men

“It’s an actual parameter, not a formal parameter,” was Tom’s argument.

Tom Swifties

Sympathy: What one usually gives to a friend or relative when he doesn’t want to lend him money.

Definitions Emotions