Author: Anonymous Page 127

Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents.

Animals Definitions

Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Work

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

Characteristics Men People Women

Auction: A place where, if you aren’t careful, you’ll get something for nodding.

Definitions

“Damn it, look at the camera!” Tom snapped.

Tom Swifties

“Ought I to do this?” asked Tom with a shudder.

Tom Swifties

Forger: A man who made a name for himself.

Definitions

Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat Wordplay

Truck Driver: A man who has the opportunity to run into so many nice people.

Definitions Occupations

He’s so crooked that when he dies, they’re going to have to screw him into the ground.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

Never wave to a friend at an auction.

Situations

“It’s made the grass wet,” said Tom after due consideration.

Tom Swifties

"Let's gather up the rope," said Tom coyly.

Tom Swifties

Engagement: A period in which a girl is placed in solitaire confinement.

Definitions Marriage

“Elvis is dead,” said Tom expressly.

Tom Swifties

Banker: A pawn broker with a manicure.

Definitions Occupations Work

Foot: A politician’s pacifier.

Definitions Politicians

Eunuch: One who is cut off from temptation.

Body Definitions

Adam wasn’t always the brightest tool.

Mixed metaphors

The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm.

Beliefs God Sex

She has bigger dogs to fry.

Mixed metaphors