Author: Anonymous Page 131

Congress: A strange forum where people get up and speak, nobody listens, and then everyone disagrees at the top of their lungs.

Congress Definitions Government

Discretion: Being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.

Definitions

He looks like the hindquarters of bad luck.

Appearance Expressions

Hypochondriac: One who enjoys poor health, then complains of feeling better.

Definitions Health

“This fabric is not good enough to make a bolero,” said Tom unravellingly.

Tom Swifties

Don’t make a long story short just so you can tell another one.

Communication Conversation Speech

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case; coincidence?

Alcohol Beer Food/Drink

After all is said and done, more is said than done.

Communication Speech

“I want a motorized bicycle,” Tom moped.

Tom Swifties

I’d like to be sitting in his shoes.

Mixed metaphors

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest.

Mixed metaphors

Ice Fishing: Winter fishing method in which anglers use a variety of specialized equipment to catch colds.

Definitions

She’s so fat it takes two dogs to bark at her.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

“This is the most common language used on micros,” said Tom basically.

Tom Swifties

Kin: An affliction of the blood.

Definitions Family

Borrow money from pessimists; they don't expect it back.

Characteristics Money

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'whose?'

Money Wealth Work

Dark Ages: Knight time.

Definitions

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you; tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws

Business Forecaster: A person who is uncertain about the future and hazy about the present.

Definitions

Fishing: A jerk at one end of the line waiting for a jerk at the other end.

Activities Definitions