Author: Anonymous Page 131

That's a huge weight lifted off my head.

Mixed metaphors

“Your tears simply do not affect me,” he observed dryly.

Tom Swifties

“I’ve got a new watch,” Tom said with abandon.

Tom Swifties

Economist: A man who knows more about money than the people who have it.

Definitions Occupations People

There’s no future in time travel.

Activities Future Past Time Travel

Dog Kennel: A barking lot.

Animals Definitions Dogs

Fishing License: Permit issued upon payment of a modest fee that allows fishermen to lose lures in a specified area.

Activities Definitions

I got a run in my neon stockings.

Clothing Malaprops

Avoidance: A dance for people who hate each other.

Definitions

Better not open that Panacea's box.

Mixed metaphors

“The stock market’s going up,” said Tom bullishly.

Tom Swifties

Academy Awards: A place where everyone lets off esteem.

Definitions

Sunburn: Getting what you basked for.

Definitions

Hey, watch this!

Death Definitions Last words

The history of the aquatics center shows… that the games’ organizers seem to be willing to spend money like water.

Mixed metaphors

Abort: To correct a misconception.

Definitions

Age: The time when everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.

Age Definitions Old

Counterfeiter: A guy who gets into trouble by following a good example.

Definitions

Loose lips sink like a rock.

Mixed metaphors

Abbreviation: An inordinately long word in light of its meaning.

Communication Definitions Language

A veritable land mine of valuable information.

Malaprops