Author: Anonymous Page 131

Cut the biblical cord.

Malaprops

Forget that guy – just illiterate him from your memory.

Malaprops Memory

Dentist: A person who runs a filling station.

Definitions Occupations

“Phew! I’ve just finished learning all Shakespeare’s works,” said Tom willfully.

Tom Swifties

Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

People Women

Butt: The body part that every item of clothing makes “look bigger.”

Appearance Body Definitions

Tact: The art of knowing how far one may go too far.

Communication Definitions

“Why shouldn’t I stir my yoghurt with a ballpoint pen?” Tom bickered.

Tom Swifties

My doctor stays true to his Apothecary Oath.

Malaprops

Good Sport: One who will always let you have your own way.

Definitions

Chiropodist: A man who makes money hand over foot.

Definitions Doctors Occupations

Infinity – where no-one can get, but where all lines meet.

Science/Weather

Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.

Characteristics

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

Sex

Artificial Insemination: Impregnation without representation and procreation without recreation.

Definitions

We heard the sea is infatuated with sharks.

Animals Malaprops

Bigamy is the only crime on the books where two rites make a wrong.

Marriage

Jazz Musician: A juggler who uses harmonies instead of oranges.

Definitions Entertainment Music

“I’ve got to stop this motor,” Tom choked.

Tom Swifties

She could eat an apple through a picket fence.

Appearance Expressions

“And to think I swallowed that lie, hook, line and sinker!” Tom gulped.

Tom Swifties