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Diplomat: A person who can juggle a hot potato long enough for it to become a cold issue.

Definitions

What happened to the first 6 “ups?”

Communication Food/Drink Language

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Husbands Marriage Wives

Adolescence: When a boy has reached the state when he knows why a strapless gown must be held up, but doesn’t understand how.

Age Definitions

Philosophy: A study which enables man to be unhappy more intelligently.

Definitions Happiness Intelligence

People have the persona that all Texans wear cowboy hats.

Beliefs Malaprops Opinion

Communist: A guy who borrows your pot to cook your goose.

Definitions

“I’m being sent down to the minors,” said Tom beleagueredly.

Tom Swifties

If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s intolerance.

Characteristics

Argument: A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but the other person hasn’t realized it yet.

Definitions

He was a man of great statue.

Appearance Body Malaprops

Key Ring: A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.

Definitions Things

Awe: Wow of silence.

Definitions

Age: The time when everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.

Age Definitions Old

Impotent: Willy-nilly.

Definitions Sex

That's the whole kettle of fish in a nutshell.

Mixed metaphors

Limit: Maximum number of a particular fish that an angler can take in a day. This number varies from place to place and species to species, but it is a largely theoretical restriction with little practical application.

Activities Definitions

Fishing: A jerk at one end of the line waiting for a jerk at the other end.

Activities Definitions

Groom: Least important member of wedding party, whose only duties are to show up on time, remember the ring, and try not to be drunk.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

It's like a wizard in sheep's clothing.

Mixed metaphors

Sterilize: What you do to your baby’s first pacifier by boiling it, and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it on your shirt.

Definitions Family