Author: Anonymous Page 138

Specialist: A doctor whose patients are expected to confine their ailments to office hours.

Definitions Doctors Health

Your being Sir Anthony's son, would itself be a sufficient accommodation.

Malaprops

Hole-In-One: An occurrence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole on a single shot by a golfer playing alone.

Definitions Golf Sports

Tougher than a boiled owl.

Expressions

“Monaural and quadraphonic systems are exceptions,” said Tom stereotypically.

Tom Swifties

“I’m wearing my wedding ring,” said Tom with abandon.

Tom Swifties

Neurotic: Someone who worries about things that didn’t happen in the past instead of worrying about things that won’t happen in the future.

Definitions People

“I teach economics at the university,” Tom professed.

Tom Swifties

“I knew the gun wasn’t loaded,” Tom said blankly.

Tom Swifties

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so you can die rich.

Definitions Money

“I have a gift for you,” said Tom presently.

Tom Swifties

Marriage is bliss… Ignorance is bliss… Ergo…

Emotions Happiness Marriage

Ventriloquist: A man with a dummy who always talks to himself.

Definitions

Bad spellers of the world, untie!

Communication Language

Biting the hand that rocks the cradle

Mixed metaphors

She may want to tackle that battle.

Mixed metaphors

Debt: A trap which a man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.

Definitions Money

Aversion: One side of a disputed story.

Definitions

Monastery: Consecration camp.

Definitions Religion

Death: A breath-taking experience.

Death Definitions

On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other, I'm not.

Misspokements