Author: Anonymous Page 148

Boxing: A mutual affliction of brain damage for the amusement of the public.

Boxing Definitions Sports

Fairway: The well-kept and seldom used portion of a golf course.

Definitions Golf Sports

Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness.

Misspokements

Budget: Telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.

Definitions

Divorce: A splitting headache.

Definitions Divorce Marriage

Alimony: The high cost of leaving.

Definitions Marriage

Inflation: Being broke with a lot of money in your pocket.

Definitions Money

Like having a large wardrobe fall on top of you with the key still in the lock.

Sex

Hindsight: What one experiences from changing too many diapers.

Definitions

“Would you like some soda?” asked Tom caustically.

Tom Swifties

As useless as a pocket on a cow

Expressions

Liberal: One who tolerates all beliefs and opinions except those with which he disagrees.

Beliefs Definitions

Broom: Witch craft.

Definitions

He lies so bad he hires somebody to call his dogs.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty Lies

Dyselxics Have More Nuf.

Communication Health Language

Isn't it nice to not have to look over our backs anymore?

Mixed metaphors

“I’m going window shopping,” said Tom listlessly.

Tom Swifties

Bachelor: One who treats all women as sequels.

Definitions

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so you can die rich.

Definitions Money

My husband and I have a monotonous relationship.

Malaprops Relationships

Hold the Farm!

Mixed metaphors