Author: Anonymous Page 17

Before arguing with your boss, make absolutely sure you’re right – then let the matter drop.

Beliefs

Diagnosis: A physician’s forecast of the disease by the patient’s pulse and purse.

Definitions Health

He is confused as a baby raccoon!

Expressions

Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.

Communication

Tears: A good-bye product.

Definitions

“This oar is broken,” said Tom robustly.

Tom Swifties

Gossip: Something negative that is developed and then enlarged.

Definitions

Casserole: A method used by ingenious cooks to get rid of leftovers.

Definitions Food/Drink

“I presented my case to the judge,” Tom said briefly.

Tom Swifties

Theres no grass burning under this project.

Mixed metaphors

“This must be an aerobics class,” Tom worked out.

Tom Swifties

It's a long road to hoe

Malaprops

Filing Cabinet: A place where you lose things alphabetically.

Definitions

Cat: A lap warmer with a built-in buzzer.

Animals Cats Definitions

“I’m concerned about the number of people not attending,” said Tom absentmindedly.

Tom Swifties

These felled trees are the beavers’ handiwork!

Mixed metaphors

It's as American as killing two birds with one apple pie.

Mixed metaphors

“The phone reception here is excellent,” he said clearly.

Tom Swifties

Harpist: A plucky musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay

Just when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, the roof caves in!

Situations

So dry the catfish are carrying canteens.

Exaggerations Science/Weather