Author: Anonymous Page 22

We have taken care of all of the silver bullets.

Mixed metaphors

“Parsley, sage, rosemary,” said Tom timelessly.

Tom Swifties

The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Church: Man’s effort to keep a roof over God’s head.

Beliefs Definitions God

He is so old… I told him to act his own age, and he died.

Age Exaggerations Old

Before arguing with your boss, make absolutely sure you’re right – then let the matter drop.

Beliefs

Lecture: A process by which the notes of the professor become the notes of the student, without passing through the minds of either.

Definitions Education School

Between the ages of twelve and seventeen, a child may see his parents age twenty years.

Age

“Another work week begins,” said Tom mundanely.

Tom Swifties

This is an awfully big elephant to eat.

Mixed metaphors

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Definitions Politicians

Well tie me to an anthill and fill my ears with jam!

Expressions

Honest Politician: One who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

Definitions Government Politicians

“It’s become much bigger,” said Tom with a groan.

Tom Swifties

There's more than one way to spin a rat.

Malaprops

I'm sweating like a bullet.

Mixed metaphors

Efficiency Expert: A man who knows less about your business than you do and gets paid more for telling you how to run it than you could possibly make out of it, even if you ran it right instead of the way he told you to.

Definitions

Isn’t it strange that the same people who laugh at gypsy fortune-tellers take economists seriously.

Beliefs

Legal: Used to mean lawful; now it means some kind of loophole.

Definitions Government Law

Pessimist: Someone who burns their bridges before they get to them.

Definitions

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

Definitions Marriage