Author: Anonymous Page 32

Now that the ball is in our court, let's go for the touchdown.

Mixed metaphors

Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.

Definitions Places

Bachelor: One who treats all women as sequels.

Definitions

Craze: The other guy’s hobby.

Definitions

World: A place that was built in six days – and looks it.

Definitions Places World

“I’ve borrowed my sister’s camping gear,” said Tom insistently.

Tom Swifties

Deluxe: Mediocre in a big way.

Definitions

She could eat an apple through a picket fence.

Appearance Expressions

He was a very immortal person.

Characteristics Malaprops

“Now I have the tools to chop down that tree,” said Tom with a heavy accent.

Tom Swifties

She raped him in a blanket.

Malaprops Situations

I look like I was sent for and couldn’t go.

Appearance

I don't want to step on your thunder.

Mixed metaphors

A husband always prefers his wife’s mother-in-law to his own.

Marriage

We had a longer holiday than usual this year because the school was closed for altercations.

Malaprops

An alarm clock is built with a mechanism to scare the daylights into you.

Things

He’s crooked as a barrel full of fish hooks.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty Insults

She's so fat… when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?

Insults Intelligence

It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

Emotions Memory Past

Avoidance: A dance for people who hate each other.

Definitions