Author: Anonymous Page 32

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens, and everybody disagrees later on.

Definitions

I want to see you go to town like a house of fire.

Mixed metaphors

Make money and the whole nation will conspire to call you a gentleman.

Characteristics Money

It's bad luck to be superstitious.

Situations

Jury: A body of twelve men selected to decide which of the contestants has the better lawyer.

Definitions Government Law Lawyers

Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.

Appearance Body Definitions

He is so fat… his driver's license says, “picture continued on other side.”

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

April 1: The day we are reminded of what we are the other 364.

Definitions Fools Intelligence

“Don’t you love sleeping outdoors,” Tom said intently.

Tom Swifties

Inch: Unit of measure whose length is consistently underestimated by men.

Definitions

Information travels more surely to those with a lesser need to know.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People

“We could have made a fortune canning pineapples,” Tom groaned dolefully.

Tom Swifties

A stitch in time is worth a pound of cure.

Mixed metaphors

I'll bet she has her clothes made by Orville, the tent maker.

Malaprops

The ship of state has a difficult road ahead.

Mixed metaphors

Puttering: Woman’s word for man’s work.

Definitions

“I need a pencil sharpener,” said Tom bluntly.

Tom Swifties

Advice: Something which we give by the bushel but take by the grain.

Definitions

It's a long road to hoe

Malaprops

Claustrophobia: The fear of Santa Claus.

Definitions

Good Sport: One who will always let you have your own way.

Definitions