Author: Anonymous Page 49

Penis: The male organ used to write one’s name in snow.

Body Definitions Men

If there’s ever a price on your head – take it.

Insults

Classical Jazz: Rock of ages.

Definitions Music

Cheerfulness: The art of concealing your true feelings.

Definitions Emotions Happiness

Babysitter: A teenager you hire to watch your TV.

Definitions

“Take tea and see,” said Tom briskly.

Tom Swifties

Chiropractor: A doctor who works his fingers to the bone… yours.

Definitions Doctors

He breathes through his nose to keep from wearing out his teeth.

Expressions Frugal

It takes a real talent to be able to apologize in a manner that makes the offended person feel guilty.

Characteristics Communication

Baker: A person who kneads the dough.

Definitions Occupations

I've been getting the corpse ahead of the hearse most of my life.

Mixed metaphors

Love is blind… but marriage is the real eye-opener.

Emotions Love Marriage

Archaeologist: A person whose career lies in ruins.

Definitions Occupations Wordplay

Don't beat a dead horse in the mouth.

Mixed metaphors

Good Old Days: What people fifty years hence will be calling the present time.

Definitions Past Time

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Appearance Body Language

It is so dry… I caught a catfish that had ticks on him.

Exaggerations Science/Weather

It doesn't take rocket appliances.

Intelligence Malaprops

Tact: The knack of making a point without making an enemy.

Communication Definitions

Old Age: When you don’t recognize either the host or the musical guest on Saturday Night Live.

Age Definitions

Hell is a place where the motorists are French, the policemen are German, and the cooks are English.

England