Author: Anonymous Page 67

We should go metric every inch of the way.

Language Science/Weather

Family Planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

Children Definitions Family

Adverse: Promotional jingle.

Definitions

He's grinning like a possum eating a persimmon.

Appearance Expressions

Television: A means of getting a babysitter so Mom and Dad can get out to the movies.

Definitions Entertainment Television

Dust: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Definitions

If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50–50 it will.

Situations

He ain’t got enough sense to poor piss out of a boot.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

She's tall enough to go duck huntin' with a rake.

Appearance Body Expressions

He’s a man without an island.

Mixed metaphors

You can’t change the spots on an old dog.

Mixed metaphors

The notion that space was empty, there was no stuff there, was something the mind finds it very difficult to get its head round, she said.

Mixed metaphors

She is so fat… when she sits around the house, she sits around the house.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Liberal: One who tolerates all beliefs and opinions except those with which he disagrees.

Beliefs Definitions

She tried to use reverse psychiatry on me.

Malaprops

Learned Fool: One who has read everything, and simply remembered it.

Definitions Intelligence

She is so fat… she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Bigamy is the only crime on the books where two rites make a wrong.

Marriage

Let's clear up a loose end.

Mixed metaphors

The world is your lobster.

Mixed metaphors

It was so cold… the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather