Author: Anonymous Page 73

The less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it.

Murphy’s Laws Time

Is that going to throw a wrinkle?

Mixed metaphors

Once you open a can of worms, they always come home to roost.

Mixed metaphors

Tips: Wages we pay other people’s help.

Definitions

America: A land where a citizen will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, and won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.

America Definitions Places

Monogamy: A marriage system in which subscribers are requested to return one wife before taking another.

Definitions Marriage

They think they can do the portrait in one setting.

Malaprops Situations

Silicone Treatment: The bust that money can buy.

Appearance Body Definitions

It dawned across my head.

Mixed metaphors

I'd like to be a fish on the wall at that meeting.

Mixed metaphors

I’m still not sure if I understand ambiguity.

Beliefs Opinion

Waddya expect him to say, entray voose?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops

“Life isn’t fair,” said Tom darkly.

Tom Swifties

District of Columbia: A territory bounded on all sides by the United States of America.

Definitions Places

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

Marriage

As proud as pea soup.

Mixed metaphors

Old Age: When you wink at a girl and she says, “Something wrong with your eyes?”

Age Definitions

“The roof is about to collapse”, Tom upheld.

Tom Swifties

Abortion: Love's labor lost.

Definitions

Black Eye: A stamp of disapproval.

Definitions

The trouble with most marriages is after she says ‘I do’, she won’t.

Marriage