Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 73
Accordion: A pleated bagpipe.
Anonymous
Definitions
Entertainment
Music
Things
Accordion
Bagpipes
He'll take your head off at the blink of a hat.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
This is an awfully big elephant to eat.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
We're like two peas in a
pot.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Situations
Two peas in a pod
G String: Gownless evening strap.
Anonymous
Clothing
Definitions
G string
Upgraded: Didn't work the first time.
Anonymous
Definitions
Situations
Upgraded
Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?
Anonymous
Expressions
Marriage
My girlfriend says that she thinks her husband is the world’s greatest lover, but she hasn’t been able to catch him at it!
Anonymous
Marriage
Sex
Parole: A period at the end of a sentence.
Anonymous
Definitions
Parole
Hole-In-One: An occurrence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole on a single shot by a golfer playing alone.
Anonymous
Definitions
Golf
Sports
Hole-in-one
Freudian Slip: When you say one thing but mean your mother.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Freudian Slip
“I presented my case to the judge,” Tom said briefly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
A stitch in time is worth a pound of cure.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Claustrophobia: The fear of Santa Claus.
Anonymous
Definitions
Claustrophobia
Good Neighbor: One who makes his noise at the same time you make yours.
Anonymous
Definitions
Good Neighbor
Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
Anonymous
Definitions
Foreign aid
Twilight: All the difference between day and night.
Anonymous
Definitions
Time
“Twilight”
Savages: People who don’t know what is wrong until missionaries show them.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Savages
Slander: To lie, or tell the truth, about someone.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Slander
The only difference between a “hair stylist” and a regular barber is the price.
Anonymous
Occupations
Work
Barber
Hair stylist
Strip Poker: A game in which the more you lose the more you have to show for it.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Games
Strip Poker
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