Author: Anonymous Page 73

Accordion: A pleated bagpipe.

He'll take your head off at the blink of a hat.

This is an awfully big elephant to eat.

We're like two peas in a pot.

G String: Gownless evening strap.

Upgraded: Didn't work the first time.

Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?

My girlfriend says that she thinks her husband is the world’s greatest lover, but she hasn’t been able to catch him at it!

Parole: A period at the end of a sentence.

Hole-In-One: An occurrence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole on a single shot by a golfer playing alone.

Freudian Slip: When you say one thing but mean your mother.

“I presented my case to the judge,” Tom said briefly.

A stitch in time is worth a pound of cure.

Claustrophobia: The fear of Santa Claus.

Good Neighbor: One who makes his noise at the same time you make yours.

Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.

Twilight: All the difference between day and night.

Savages: People who don’t know what is wrong until missionaries show them.

Slander: To lie, or tell the truth, about someone.

The only difference between a “hair stylist” and a regular barber is the price.

Strip Poker: A game in which the more you lose the more you have to show for it.