Author: Ambrose Bierce Page 6

Consult: To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Secret: What we tell everybody to tell nobody.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions

Future: That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Future Time

Ignoramus: A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

Infidel: In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Revolution: An abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Conflict Definitions Government

To be positive: To be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Speech

Dawn: 1. The time when men of reason go to bed. 2. When the sun first shines on your hangover.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Time

Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Taxes

Longevity: Uncommon extension of the fear of death.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Death Definitions Language Life

Road: A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Activities Autos Definitions Things Travel

Deliberation: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Mausoleum: The final and funniest folly of the rich.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Death Definitions Language Money Wealth

Circus: A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Communication Definitions Fools Language People

Dependent: Reliant upon another's generosity for the support which you are not in a position to exact from his fears.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Fiddle: An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Definitions Music

Ambidextrous: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Critic: One who boasts of being “hard to please” because nobody tries to please him. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations Work

Senate: A body of elderly gentlemen charged with high duties and misdemeanors.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Congress Definitions Government