Author: Groucho Marx Page 7

I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me. [He suddenly grabs her and pulls her down onto a couch]

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

You must fan the flames of love with the bellows of indifference.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

All people are born alike – except Republicans and Democrats.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
People

My favorite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September,' because it actually tells you something.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Emotions Failure Friends

If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Places

You’re just wasting your breath, and that’s no great loss either.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago…I shot my broker.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Conflict Killing Money

Does it have a happy ending?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Entertainment

You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults Intelligence

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Money

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Dance Marriage Wives

Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Body Sex

Money frees you from doing things you dislike; since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Money

I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints… they’re upstairs in my socks.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

Peerless Pauline: I’ve waited so long to find someone like you.

J. Cheever Loophole: Oh, someone like me, I’m not good enough for you, eh?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

Madame Swempski: I don’t like this innuendo.

Groucho: That’s what I always say: love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse!

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

I eat like a vulture… unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Eating Food/Drink