Author: James Thurber

One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink

You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Intelligence People

A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn't make sense.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Communication Intelligence Wisdom

I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Animals Cats Dogs

I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Children People Situations Women

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Emotions

There are two kinds of light — the glow that illumines, and the glare that obscures.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Science/Weather

While he was not as dumb as an ox, he was not any smarter either.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Intelligence Stupidity

He who hesitates is sometimes saved.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Characteristics

I love the idea of there being two sexes, don't you?

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Appearance Body Science/Weather

The dog has seldom been successful in pulling Man up to its level of sagacity, but Man has frequently dragged the dog down to his.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Animals Dogs

A drawing is always dragged down to the level of its caption.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Communication Reading/Writing

Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Characteristics People

Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Age Old People Situations

Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Death Life Men People Time

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Communication Situations Things

The dog has got more fun out of Man than Man has got out of the dog, for the clearly demonstrable reason that Man is the more laughable of the two animals.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Animals Dogs

A drawing is always dragged down to the level of its caption.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Entertainment

I hate women because they always know where things are.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
People Things Women

The bosom friend of senators and congressmen was about as daring as an early Shirley Temple movie.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Government Insults Politicians

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Characteristics Entertainment Opinion