Author: Jeff Foxworthy Page 4

You might be a redneck if… your parents met at a family reunion.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Family Parents People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you have used a bar stool as a walker.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Health People

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics Family Relationships

You might be a redneck if… your daughter's Barbie Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Things

Whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Communication Intelligence Speech

You might be a redneck if… you've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you've ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Dogs People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you think 'N Sync is where the dirty dishes go.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment Music People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you wear someone else's work shirt.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… your ironing board doubles as a buffet table.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Things

You might be a redneck if… you can get dog hair from out of your belly button.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Dogs People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Fathers People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Golf Sports

I call our bathroom 'The Vault' because the door's always locked and whatever goes on in there costs a shitload of money.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money Places

You might be a redneck if… you believe that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Food/Drink People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… your down where you come from reruns of Hee Haw are called documentaries.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment Intelligence People Rednecks Television

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics Situations Work

You might be a redneck if… the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Marriage People Rednecks Wives