Author: W.C. Fields Page 8

Sex isn't necessary; you don't die without it – but you can die having it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Sex

I like my films to influence the audience; even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Entertainment Film

Cross my heart and hope to eat my weight in goslings.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
TV/Movie Quotes

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Situations

I'd like to see Paris before I die… Philadelphia will do.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Places TV/Movie Quotes

[Peggy finds a litter of assorted kittens on her seat] Peggy: I wonder what their parents were.

Professor Quail: Careless, my little dove cake, careless.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
TV/Movie Quotes

Man: I have no sympathy for a man who is intoxicated all the time.

Fields: A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Characteristics People Relationships

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Health Time

I never drink water; that’s the stuff that rusts pipes.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Characteristics Eating Food/Drink

Go away kid, you bother me.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Children People

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Age Health