Keyword: George W. Bush

In the wake of a successful Iraqi elections President Bush’s job approval rating has jumped up to 57% or, as high school teachers call it, an ‘F’.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Miscellaneous

President Clinton signed a $10 million deal to write a book by 2003… President Bush signed a $10 million deal to read a book by 2003.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Books Communication Reading/Writing

This weekend President Bush gave a speech honoring Abraham Lincoln’s birthday.  There was an awkward moment when Bush referred to Lincoln as “the guy who invented the penny.”

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Intelligence People

Overall Bush's European trip has been an overwhelming success. Not once has he gotten separated from his group.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Intelligence People

Do you realize we’re only a heart attack away from Bush being president?

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Death Government President

I’m proud of George, he’s learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse; what’s worse, it was a male horse.

(1946 – ) U.S. first lady, wife of George W. Bush
Miscellaneous

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.

(1930 – ) actor, writer, film & television director
Communication Government Language President

President Bush wants to spend $7 billion this year to fight the drug dealers in Colombia… but they only earn $3 billion a year; so why don't we pay them $4 billion a year not to grow the cocaine?

American comedian & writer
Drugs Money Places

Yesterday, the President met with a group he calls the coalition-of-the-willing; or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Government

At the dedication of his Presidential Library, George W. Bush said it’s long been his dream to build a building for teenagers to drink behind.

(1973 – ) American comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

One thing I can say about George… he may not be able to keep a job, but he’s not boring.

(1925 – 2018) U.S. first lady, wife of George H. W. Bush
People

Ever notice that George Bush doesn't speak when Dick Cheney is drinking water?

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Communication People

Astronomers have discovered two giant new solar systems, and with George W. Bush taking over the Presidency, it’s good to know we have options.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Government President

Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Government Language Politicians

[George W.] Bush doesn’t know the names of countries, he doesn’t know the names of foreign leaders, he can’t even find the Earth on a globe.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Intelligence People

The only difference between Bush and Hitler is that Hitler was elected.

(1922 – 2007) American novelist
Elections/Voting Government

His big thing now is we’ve got to get these evildoers… sounds like we’re living in a giant episode of ‘Scooby Doo.’

(1973 – ) American stand-up comedian
People

He's a man who was a failure until he was 40 years old, which looks really good on your resume – if you're a comic.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Failure Problems

The man has a 70% approval rate, which makes sense to me because he's pretty much done everything I expected him to do: the economy's in the toilet, we're at war and everything's on fire.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
People Problems

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug – the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Elections/Voting Emotions Government

U2 lead singer Bono met with President Bush at the White House this week. Bono urged the president to help the world’s poor; Bush urged Bono to get back with Cher.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
TV/Movie Quotes