Keyword: Speed (Page 2)

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

If you change lines, the one you just left will start to move faster than the one you are now in.

The speed of time is one second per second.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Every car has a lot of speed in it. The trick is getting the speed out of it.

American auto racer

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician

Maybe I’m lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the wrong direction.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist

That was faster than green grass through a goose.

At 180 mph, when your front wheel wants to play pogo stick, you don't do nothing. You don't sneeze, you don't hiccup, you don't even breathe. All you do is point it and hang on.

American motorcycle racer

Slow as an iron toad

Computing power increases as the square of the cost; if you want to do it twice as cheaply, you have to do it four times slower.

Remember folks, stop lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph.

(1948 – 1990) comedian

Officer, I know I was going faster than 55 MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the
 road an hour.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

I put a new engine in my car, but didn’t take the old one out and now my car goes 500 miles an hour.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

One of the greatest unsolved riddles of restaurant eating is that the customer usually gets faster service when the restaurant is crowded than when it is half empty; it seems that the less the staff has to do, the slower they do it.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks grey?

(1973 – ) American comedian

I play the harmonica, but only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer