Subject: Animals (Page 3)

I wonder what goes through [your dog’s] mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl.

American writer
Animals Dogs Intelligence Thinking

The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Animals

Biologically speaking, if something bites you it’s more likely to be female.

(1928 – ) English zoologist, ethologist, painter & author
Animals People

Cat: A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Cats Communication Definitions Language

Armadillo: Possum on the half shell.

Animals Definitions

Nature abhors a vacuum… but not as much as cats do.

Animals Cats

A house without a dog or a cat is the house of a scoundrel.

Animals Cats Dogs Proverbs

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

(1981 – ) British actor
Animals

Some dog I got too; we call him Egypt because he leaves a pyramid in every room.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Dogs

You always hear a headline like this,”Man Killed By Shark,” you never hear it from the other perspective, “Man Swims in Shark Infested Waters, Forgets He's Shark Food.”

(1950 – ) American cartoonist The Far Side
Animals

An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Animals Characteristics

Animals have these advantages over man: they have no theologians to instruct them, their funerals cost them nothing, and no-one starts lawsuits over their wills.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Animals

Even snakes are afraid of snakes.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Characteristics Fear

I don't like grouper fish. Well, they're okay. They hang around star fish. Because they're grouper fish.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals Cold Football Intelligence Places Sports

Dog: The only friend you can buy for money.

Animals Definitions Dogs

My dog licked the crumbs out of my computer keyboard and earned an online college degree.

Animals Dogs Education

Horses just naturally have Mohawk haircuts.


Animals Appearance

I’m disappointed with every movie about sharks that closes with “The End” instead of “Fin.”

Animals Entertainment Film

The man who gets bit twice by the same dog is better adapted for that kind of business than any other.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals Dogs