Subject: Appearance » Ugly

Ugly as a moose chewin ice

When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night… and reduce the crime rate.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

The life expectancy of a house plant varies inversely with its price and directly with its ugliness.

He had better get married soon, because he's getting uglier every day!

Canadian hockey player

I’m a character actor, which is a polite way of saying ‘ugly.’

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

He is so ugly… robbers give him their masks to wear.

She was so ugly that when I bent down to pet her cat it turned out to be the hair on her legs.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

He was so ugly… he hurt my feelings.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian

He is so ugly… when he walks into the bank they turn off the cameras.

He’s so ugly his mother had to borrow a baby to take to church.

Ugly as stump full of spiders.

She is so ugly… when she walked in to Taco Bell, everyone ran for the border.

There's only one thing wrong with my wife's face – it shows.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

We were making love and I took the bag off my head.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

He is so ugly… when he throws a boomerang it won’t come back.

I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

She looks better goin than comin!

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