Subject: Appearance » Ugly (Page 3)

Receiving oral sex from an ugly person is like rock climbing; you should never look down.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Sex Ugly

He is so ugly… robbers give him their masks to wear.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

I’m so ugly – my father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Children Family Fathers Ugly

He is so ugly… he has to sneak up on his mirror.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

My girlfriend was no bargain either; she used to braid her armpits.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Girlfriends Hair People Ugly

No one is as ugly as their passport photo.

Appearance Murphy’s Laws Ugly

I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Ugly

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion; he said okay, you’re ugly too.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Ugly

She cain’t help bein’ ugly, but she coulda stayed at home!

Appearance Ugly

She was known as a two bagger; that’s when a girl is so ugly that you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Ugly

She is so ugly… when she walked in to Taco Bell, everyone ran for the border.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Ugly as home made sin on a Sunday.

Appearance Ugly

I told my psychiatrist I keep thinking I’m ugly and he told me to lay on the couch… face down!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Doctors Health Ugly

The baby is fine; the only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Insults Relationships Ugly

She is so ugly… when she goes swimming the tide goes out.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp.

Animals Appearance Dogs Expressions Ugly

He’s so ugly his mother had to borrow a baby to take to church.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body Self Ugly

I went to the doctor and said, “Doc, every morning when I wake up and look in the mirror, I throw up. What’s wrong?” The doctor said, “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Self Ugly

Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
TV/Movie Quotes Ugly

We were making love and I took the bag off my head.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Death Ugly