Subject: Conflict » War

Peace: Co-existence or no no existence.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic

War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

War is God's way of teaching us geography.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

I want you guys to know that if we ever get into real heavy combat… I'll be right behind you guys. Every step of the way.

(1944 – 2014) American actor, director & writer

Madonna said that we should pull all of our troops out of Iraq; Donald Rumsfeld said, "No, I think we'd better wait and hear what Britney Spears has to say about it first.”

(1950 – ) comedian & television host

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war… just a greater emphasis on military apparel.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer

Men love war because it allows them to look serious… it is the one thing that stops women laughing at them.

(1926 – 2005) English novelist & essayist

God is not on the side of the big battalions, but on the side of those who shoot best.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist

Starting a war in the name of peace is like poking a hole in a balloon to get more air into it.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Only the winners decide what were war crimes.

(1934 – ) American author, journalist & historian

If our politicians were better at pretending to get along, there wouldn’t be any war.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist

I was thinkin' maybe we should just bomb ourselves so we could upgrade our school system.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger

God invented football so grown men would have something to do between wars.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter

Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion.


(1934 – 2012) American army general

The only reason we're not in Iran now is because we're going alphabetically and George Bush can't spell.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality

The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist

The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel; this is essentially the basis of all military thinking.

(1948 – ) English novelist

Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

'Bush and Son: Leading America to War Since 1990.'

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

actor, writer & editor
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