Subject: Entertainment (Page 5)

If you're gonna blame teen sex on rock 'n' roll, why don't we just blame incest on country and western?

comedian
Entertainment Music

The first time I saw you on stage I realized what a wonderful voice you've got; I think you're so brave not to have had it trained.

(1836 – 1911) English dramatist, librettist, poet & illustrator
Acting Insults Reviews/Criticism

Stand-Up [comedy] is a lot like sex; there's a lot of crying involved and I get paid to do it.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian
Entertainment Money Sex

In a perfect world, a fair world, Bob Hayes should be forced to carry a small calf on his shoulder when he runs the dashes…Mark Spitz, in all fairness, would swim with a sea anchor…[and] Ella Fitzgerald must sing every note with a mouth full of Tootsie Rolls.

(1919 – ) American sportswriter
Entertainment Life Places Sports World

I'm convinced that his voice comes out of his eyelids.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Entertainment People

I have no problem not listening to The Temptations.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Entertainment Music

If anyone has conducted a Beethoven performance, and then doesn’t have to go to an osteopath, then there’s something wrong.

(1955 – ) English conductor
Entertainment Music

When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as if the strings are still in the cat.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Animals Cats Entertainment Music

Brass bands are all very well in their place – outdoors and several miles away.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Entertainment Music

He was a man who never let his left hip know what his right hip was doing.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Dance Entertainment

In honor of the late George Carlin, here are seven more words you can't say on TV: "And the Emmy goes to Bob Saget."

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author
Communication Entertainment Language Television

You know I'm the only Iraqi comedian… yeah true… at least that makes us three more than Germany.

(1965 – ) British-Iranian comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment Occupations People Places Work

The trouble with this business is that the stars keep ninety per cent of my money.

(1906 – 1998) Russian-born English film producer & media mogul
Entertainment Film

I’m always afraid that somewhere out there, there is one person in the audience that I’m not going to offend!

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Entertainment

If you have watched a TV series only once, and you watch it again, it will be a rerun of the same episode.

Entertainment Murphy’s Laws Television

When I told my mom I wanted to grow up and be a comedian, she said you can’t do both.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Entertainment Occupations Work

Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks; there you are, keeping the beat, the next thing you know, your bass player turns into a can of soup.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Entertainment Music

The only part I believed was at the end of the movie when she wouldn't move her ass over and let him on the raft with her.

(1960 – ) American stand-up comedian & writer
Entertainment Film

Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and selling your story to T.V.!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict Crime Entertainment Television

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be… it is what it used to be; that is what's wrong with it.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Music Reviews/Criticism

I can't get a relationship to last longer than it takes to make copies of their tapes.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
Dating Entertainment Music Relationships