Subject: Money » Frugal

(Jack) Benny’s so cheap he wouldn’t give you the parsley off his fish.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

He once gave Gracie a coupon for a year’s subscription to a magazine as a gift – and all she had to do was fill it out and send it in with a check.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

He was so cheap, for example, that when Mary asked for diamonds for her birthday he bought her two of them… the eight and the queen.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

He’s so chincy, he can call his every dollar by its first name.

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

He’s the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

The dime hasn’t been minted that could march past Jack Benny.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own Scotch, you bring your own rocks.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

He’s too stingy to give you the time of day.

The reason Jack Benny is looking so sad these days is that he’s not only losing a daughter – but losing a deduction too.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

She makes pancakes so thin they’ve got just one side to them.

He took me to McDonald’s, backed his car through the drive-through window, so the cashier could be on my side.

comedian & radio personality

Talk is cheap – except when Congress does it.

(1923 – ) American quote & quip writer

He breathes through his nose to keep from wearing out his teeth.

I’m half Scottish and half Jewish, so don’t ask me for money.

(1960 – ) American actor, writer & director

Jack was so cheap that instead of bringing his date flowers, he brought her seeds.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Even if you gave him poison he wouldn't die until he'd recovered the deposit on the bottle.

Misers make wonderful ancestors.

Depression: A period in which you have no belt to tighten.

The Jack Benny I knew threw his money around… not far – but he threw it.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

When it comes to paying, he’s the first to put his hand in his pocket… and leave it there.

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