Subject: TV/Movie Quotes

TV/Movie Quotes:

Humorous lines from television, film and fictional characters
                         (click on name for more quotes by that character)

The Lord descend down a thundervolt.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Sam: Somebody wants you at another table.
Diane: Who?
Sam: Everybody at this one.

(1947) is an American actor, author & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

With the shape I’m in you could donate my body to science fiction.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Woman: I need shoes.

Al: Blacksmith's right around the corner.

(1946 – ) American actor
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

If ignorance is bliss, this is Eden.

(1949 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Badges? We ain’t got no badges! We don’t need no badges! I don’t have to show you any stinking badges!

(1904 – 1957) Mexican actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Lester: If you play your cards right, you could have my body.

Halley Reed: Wouldn’t you rather leave it to science?

(1945 – ) American model, activist & actress
Body TV/Movie Quotes

Maybe I’d like to run around the house my drawers, and with her here, I felt inhabited.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

‘Maebe’: Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold T-shaped pendants?

Michael: That’s a cross.

’Maebe’: Across from where?

(1989 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a coke machine. You can’t do it in one push, you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

Woody: Can I pour you a beer Mr. Peterson?
Norm: A little early isn’t it, Woody?
Woody: For a beer?
Norm: No, for stupid questions.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

What are we all here, the Norman Cravernacle Choir?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

It’s evaporooted a little bit there.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Eyes, fingers, toes: two, ten, eleven.

(1940 – 1994) Puerto Rican actor
TV/Movie Quotes

The ability to witness two men stand toe to toe in the spirit of sportsmanship and pummel each other into insensibility is what separates us from the animals.

(1938 – ) American actor
Boxing Sports TV/Movie Quotes

We're Bundys. We don't call the cops. People call them on us.

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter
TV/Movie Quotes

Niles and I have decided to donate all your things to charity. We’re donating your clothes to the blind.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

There’s so much static electricity in this room, I pick up everything but boys and money.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Phoebe: [Right after playing a song in the coffee shop] If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.

(1963 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
TV/Movie Quotes

In fact, I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.

(1963 – ) Canadian comedian, actor, screenwriter & film producer
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

I'm like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Miscellaneous Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes