Subject: TV/Movie Quotes

TV/Movie Quotes:

Humorous lines from television, film and fictional characters
                         (click on name for more quotes by that character)

That’s Grossberger, the biggest mass murderer in the history of the southwest. He killed his entire family and all of his relatives in one weekend… and then he killed some more people that reminded him of his family.

(1943 – ) Cuban-American actor & director

Diane: Sam, may I have a brief word with you?

Sam: I suppose you could, but I doubt it.

(1947) is an American actor, author & producer

Sue Ann: I hope I’m not disturbing you.

Mary: I was in bed.

Sue Ann: Oh, good. Then you’re alone!

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality

Listen Edith, I know you’re singing, you know you’re singing, but the neighbors may think I’m torturing you.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Sue Ann: Sue Ann Nivens doesn’t give in without a fight!

Murray: That’s not what the cabdrivers tell me.

(1931 – ) American actor

Baldrick: I have a cunning plan to solve the problem.
Blackadder: Yes Baldrick. Let us not forget you tried to solve the problem of your mother’s low ceiling by cutting off her head.

(1955 – ) English actor

Man is the only animal you can skin more than once.

(1928 – 2014) American actor

How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Al: How ya feeling, Peg? I’m surprised you could make it down those stairs this morning.

Peg: I know. I was pretty tired. I hope that buzzing didn’t keep you awake last night.

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter

Sam: What’s the story Norm?

Norm: Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her. It’s her wedding day.

Joey: What? Like there’s some rule or something?

(1967 – ) American actor & producer

Once the Earth goes, the planet is going to be next!

(1971 – ) American actress

In the news today Ellen DeGeneres announced that she was gay, and in related news Richard Simmons announced today that he is really, really gay.

President Bush and the Indian prime minister agreed Thursday on a landmark nuclear energy agreement in which the U.S. would share its nuclear know-how and fuel with India. And, in exchange, India would take all our jobs.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer

Dana Barrett: [as The Gatekeeper] I want you inside me.

Dr. Peter Venkman: [referring to her radical change in personality] It sounds like you’ve got at least two or three people in there already.

(1949 – ) American actress

The best thing you have going for you is your willingness to humiliate yourself.

(1963 – ) American actor & television host

Woody: Hey Mr. Peterson, there’s a cold one waiting for you.

Norm: I know, if she calls, I’m not here.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

A wed wose. How womantic.

(1942 – 1999) American actress

Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again… Great, I’ll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Oh Al, I never wanted your life. I just took it because it was there.

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter

The two of you was intricate together.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
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