Author: Ogden Nash

The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually beomes a cat.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Animals Cats

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
People Situations Time

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Money People

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Money Occupations People Work

Children aren’t happy with nothing to ignore, And that’s what parents were created for.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Children Family Fathers Mothers Parents

Senescence begins and middle age ends, the day your descendants outnumber your friends.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Age Old

I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Emotions Happiness Money Wealth

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Activities Husbands Marriage Relationships Sleep Things Wives

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
People Things

There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is enjoy earning it.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Husbands Marriage Money Wives

I have an idea that the phrase ‘weaker sex’ was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Language Men People Women

Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Basketball Sports

Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Situations Time

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Animals Dogs Things

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else… and usually is.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Age People

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Characteristics Children Family Parents People

The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Animals Food/Drink

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Marriage

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Husbands Marriage Things Wives

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Intelligence Marriage Memory

How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Appearance Body Eating Food/Drink People