Author: Oscar Levant

I think a lot of Bernstein… but not as much as he does.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Insults

I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Health

Our loss is their loss.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Beliefs Insults Religion

I made a comment to a newspaper about therapists saying that people should not become dependent on them and it got printed as, "The rapists say . . . "

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication

Epigram: A wisecrack that played Carnegie Hall.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication Definitions Language

My psychiatrist once said to me, “Maybe life isn't for everyone.”

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Life Self

A dollar saved is a quarter earned.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Government Money

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Insults

There's a fine line between genius and insanity and I have erased this line.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Intelligence

I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

Tell me George, if you had to do it all over would you fall in love with yourself again?

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Insults

I knew her before she was a virgin.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Age Old

I envy people who drink… at least they have something to blame everything on.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink People

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Characteristics Insults

A musical is a series of catastrophes ending with a floor show.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Entertainment

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Appearance Body Characteristics Fat

She has discovered the secret of perpetual middle age.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Age Insults

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication Entertainment Language

It's not what you are but what you don't become that hurts.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
People Self

Sometimes he was inaudible – those were his best moments.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
People Reviews/Criticism

Musicals: a series of catastrophes ending with a floorshow.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Entertainment