Subject: Activities (Page 18)

Knitted Historical Figures

Activities Book Titles

They should call fishing what it really is… tricking and killing!

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Animals Language Sports

For [my husband], getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Situations Sleep Work

Most people are so lazy, they don't even exercise good judgement!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Exercise Work

My first rule of consumerism is never to buy anything you can’t make your children carry.

American author
Activities Shopping

I’m eighteen years behind on my ironing.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Activities Housework

I dreamt I was forced to eat 25lb of marshmallows; when I woke up, my pillow was missing.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Situations Sleep

Thirty ways to shape up for summer — number one: eat less; number two: exercise more; number three… What was I talking about? … I’m so hungry right now.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Appearance Body Exercise

Jim: Yeah, I did some drugs, though probably not as many as you think. How many drugs do you think I did?

Elaine Nardo: A lot.

Jim: Wow! Right on the nose!

(1938 – ) American actor
Activities Drugs TV/Movie Quotes

I was thinking of running a marathon, but I think it might be too difficult getting all the roads closed and providing enough water for everyone.

comedian
Activities Sports

I think housework is far more tiring and frightening than hunting is… and yet after hunting we had eggs for tea and were made to rest for hours, but after housework people expect one to go on just as if nothing special had happened.

(1904 – 1973) English novelist & biographer
Housework Work

Someone stole my antidepressants; whoever they are, I hope they’re happy.


Activities Drugs

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Autos Driving People Things

Hiking is just walking where it’s ok to pee.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities

A family vacation is when you go away with the people you need to get away from.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Activities Relationships

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way.

(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist
Autos Driving Marriage Wives

[Poker] as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you could find outside an advertising agency.

(1888 – 1959) detective novelist & screenwriter
Activities Communication Games

Have you ever been dating anyone, and you think they're normal, and all of the sudden, they start freaking out on you?… yelling, 'Untie me!'

television writer, actor
Activities Dating Relationships

Hot Potato is a very different game when the people playing are starving.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Food/Drink Games

Never go to bed mad… stay up and fight.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Activities Conflict Fights Marriage Sleep

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Activities