Subject: Activities » Sleep (Page 4)

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.

I sleep eight hours a day and at least ten at night.

(1961 – 1994) comedian

You know you are getting older when “Happy Hour” is a nap.

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist

I certainly do not drink all the time, I have to sleep you know.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

I was having difficulty deciding if I wanted to purchase this bed I was looking at, so the salesman told me… sleep on it.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won’t get much sleep.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.

Children have more energy after a hard day of play than they do after a good night's sleep.

I’ll never die in my sleep… I don’t sleep that well.

(1889 – 1966) American humorist, writer, illustrator & cartoonist

My nightmares have coming attractions.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor

No human being believes that any other human being has a right to be in bed when he himself is up.

(1879 – 1949) Irish writer

I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good book… or a friend who’s read one.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad; the good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.

(1917 – 1993) British composer & novelist

I have no sex appeal; if my husband didn’t toss and turn, we’d never have had the kid.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

There is only one thing worse than dreaming you are at a conference and waking to find that you are at a conference, and that is the conference where you can't fall asleep.

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" and I said, "No, I made a few mistakes."

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

For sincere advice and the correct time, call any number at random at 3:00 a.m.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician