Subject: Age » Old (Page 8)

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Old

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Appearance Body Clothing Old

If you want to know what you’ll look like in ten years, look in the mirror after you’ve run a marathon.

American cardiologist & marathoner
Activities Age Appearance Old

You know you’re getting older when you don’t care where your wife goes, just so you don’t have to go along

Age Marriage Old Wives

Fiber: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Age Definitions Food/Drink Health Old

Old age is like everything else; to make a success of it, you've got to start young.

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president
Age Old Success Young

She is so old… she used to baby-sit Jesus.

Age Exaggerations Old

Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning; old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Definitions Old

I smoke 10 to 15 cigars a day, at my age I have to hold on to something.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Activities Age Old

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they're cramming for their final exam.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Age Old

The older you get, the higher your underwear – get like rings on a tree; you're 80-90 years old – your breasts are inside them.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
Age Appearance Body Clothing Old

The older I grow the more I listen to people who don’t talk much.

Age Communication Old

Golden Years My Ass: Adventures in Geriatric Indignity

Age Book Titles Old

I’ve been doing it [stealing from hotels] for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Old

When I was a boy, I thought myself a man; now that I am a man, I find myself a boy.

(1773 – 11829) English genius & polymath
Age Old Young

My mother used to say: the older you get, the better you get… unless you’re a banana.

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
Age Old TV/Movie Quotes

What's the advantage of having a kid at 49?… you can both be in diapers at the same time?

stand-up comedian
Age Children Old

You know you’re getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don’t know anyone who can see through it.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Old

Nothing makes a smoker happier than to see an old person smoking.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Activities Age Happiness Health Old

You're never too old to become younger.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Age Old

I don’t look older, I just look worse.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Age Appearance Body Old