Subject: Age (Page 17)

He is so old… his social security number is 6.

Age Exaggerations Old

It’s good to be here… but at 98, it’s good to be anywhere.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Life Old

Old age is like everything else; to make a success of it, you've got to start young.

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president
Age Old Success Young

Adolescents: People who never seem to realize that one day they will be as dumb as their parents.

Age Definitions

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will sometimes produce bizarre behavior… and I’m not talking about the kids.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Family Old Parents

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older… little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman—stuff you pay good money for in later life.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Age Life Sex

The young are generally full of revolt, and are often pretty revolting about it.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Age Characteristics Young

Outside of a dog, a book is your best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Animals Books Communication Dogs Intelligence Reading/Writing Relationships Situations

A very short one.

(1875 – 1997) French, 120 year old woman
Age Future Time

Adolescence is that time of life when you discover your ability to be depressed.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Age Characteristics

Middle age is when, whenever you go on holiday, you pack a sweater.

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Age

Women your age are more likely to be mauled at the zoo than get married.

(1958 – ) American actor & producer
Age Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, "Do you have any toy train schedules?"

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Young

I refuse to admit I'm more than 52, even if that does make my sons illegitimate.

(1879 – 1964) British politician
Age Children Old

I've dated men my age, younger than me and older and the only difference is the young ones are quicker at taking out the garbage.

(1970 – ) American film & television actress
Age Dating Old Relationships Young

At my age flowers scare me.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Emotions Fear Old

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Old Science/Weather

A young man is a theory, an old man is a fact.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Age Facts Old Young

There are no old people nowadays; they are either 'wonderful for their age' or dead.

author
Age Old

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Health Old Places

You know, you get that tattoo of barbed wire when you’re 18, but by the time you’re 80, it’s a picket fence.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Age Appearance Body Old Young