Subject: Age (Page 24)

I’m 65. People say I look 55. I feel 45. I’d settle for 35 and you make me feel 25.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Age TV/Movie Quotes

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Conflict Friends Killing People Young

That dame is older than the Continental Shelf!

(1944 – ) American actor, director & producer
Age Old TV/Movie Quotes

I don't need drugs anymore, thank God; I can get the same effect just by standing up real fast.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Age Drugs Old

Everybody wants to live forever, but nobody wants to grow old.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Age Old Young

I don’t want to lose weight; my tongue and my taste buds are the only friends I got.

American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Fat Friends People Young

As you grow older, you stand for more and fall for less.

Accidents Age Beliefs Old

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

American cartoonist, illustrator & writer
Age

If you live to be ninety in England and can still eat a boiled egg they think you deserve the Nobel Prize.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Age England Old Places

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

Age Murphy’s Laws Old

Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don’t think so… retired mermaids.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Age Old People Women

Adolescence is that time of life when you discover your ability to be depressed.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Age Characteristics

Most people my age are dead at the present time.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Death Life Misspokements Old People Time

When I was young, poverty was so common that we didn't know it had a name.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Age Money Poverty Young

The thing about getting old is the number of things you think that you can’t say aloud because it would be too shocking.

(1919 – 2013) British writer, poet & playwright
Age Old Speech

Nostalgia is heroin for old people.

(1972 – ) Irish comedian & television presenter
Age Old

When you've seen a nude infant doing a backward somersault you know why clothing exists.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Age Appearance Clothing Young

I got my start in silent radio.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Age Old

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

Age Murphy’s Laws Old

Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the National Debt.

(1929 – 1933) 31st U.S. president, humanitarian
Age Government Money Young

When you are eight years old, nothing is any of your business.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Age Young