Subject: Animals (Page 13)

Zoo: A place of refuge where wild animals are protected from people.

Animals Definitions Places

Dog Kennel: A barking lot.

Animals Definitions Dogs

Fish and visitors smell in three days.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals People Time

When you have got an elephant by the hind leg, and he is trying to run away, it’s best to let him run.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Animals Conflict

Horses just naturally have Mohawk haircuts.


Animals Appearance

Kittens play with yarn, they bat it around. What they’re really doing is saying, “I can’t knit, get this away from me!”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Cats

Horses have four bits of lucky nailed to their feet; they should be the luckiest animals in the world.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Animals

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Animals

It's a wise man who profits by his own experience, but it's a good deal wiser one who lets the rattlesnake bite the other fellow.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals Intelligence Wisdom

The great thing about racehorses is you don’t need to take them for walks.

(1936 – ) English actor
Animals

It’s weird… people say they’re not like apes, but how do you explain football then?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Football Sports

It’s only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames.

(1964 – ) English comedian, author & television presenter
Animals Situations

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Activities Animals Sleep

Bombproof Your Horse

Animals Book Titles

It was a brave person who first looked at a cow and said, ‘I think I’ll just squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out.’

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
Animals Food/Drink

I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Dogs

Dog: The only friend you can buy for money.

Animals Definitions Dogs

My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.

(1964 – ) American comedian
Animals Cats Dogs

Did you know that a possum walking through a cornfield sounds exactly like three men with an ax?

(1954 – ) American stand-up comedian
Animals

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look whether they’ve seen a moth or an ax murder.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Animals Cats

That’s why they’re man’s best friend… ‘cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are; so do women, but they’ve already got men

(1957 – ) American comedian
Animals Dogs Men People