Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 13)

It's a good thing Babe Ruth isn't still with the Yankees. If he was, George Steinbrenner would have him bat seventh and say he's overweight.

American baseball player

My face looks like a wedding cake left out in the rain.


(1907 – 1973) poet & critic

I don’t care if you think I’m racist… I just want you to think I’m thin.

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress

On the other hand… you have different fingers.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

You are 32, you are rapidly approaching the age when your body, whether it embarrasses you or not, begins to embarrass other people.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright

Abdomen: A bowl-shaped cavity containing the organs of indigestion.

(1899 – 1995) humorist

Yeah, she's beautiful, but you can't find her IQ with a flashlight.

Phyllis Diller’s had so many facelifts, there’s nothing left in her shoes.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

He’s so skinny, his pants had only one back pocket.

My friend got a personal trainer a year before his wedding; I thought: Bloody hell, how long’’s the aisle going to be.

comedian

Never try to guess your wife's size. Just buy her anything marked ‘petite’ and hold on to the receipt.

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Reform: To gain or lose weight.

Body odor is nature’s alarm clock and a lot of people from my home town are hitting the snooze alarm.

American comedian

I sight down my nose to shoot, and now my nose isn't straight since I broke it. That's why my shooting has been off.

American basketball player

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

I’d like to borrow [Cassius] Clay’s body for 48 hours. There are three guys I’d like to beat up and four women I’d like to make love to.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter

Dirty blonde … I made myself platinum, but I was born a dirty blonde.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Stomach: A bowl-shaped cavity containing the organs of indigestion.

My trademarks are a hoarse, grating voice and the face of a retired pugilist: small narrowed eyes set in puffy features which look as though they might, years ago, have lost on points.

(1911 – 1986) American actor

I hate thin people; “Oh, does the tampon make me look fat?”

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director