Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 13)

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Body Old

She was so ugly that when I bent down to pet her cat it turned out to be the hair on her legs.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Hair Ugly

Short girls who take all the tall guys.

American professional tennis player
Appearance Body Sports

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body

You might be a redneck if… you see a sign that says "Say No To Crack" and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Body Drugs People Rednecks

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Appearance Body Clothing Old

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?


Appearance Body Fat Sports

He is so fat… his high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

There is an obesity epidemic; one out of every three Americans… weighs as much as the other two.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body

I'm so physically deficient that the act of sleep injures me.

(1978 – ) American comic writer
Appearance Body

Man that guy is ripped! I mean, I've got the washboard stomach, too. It's just that mine has about two months of laundry on top of it.

Canadian hockey player
Appearance Body Hockey Sports

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast; turned out to be a trick knee.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Body Health Relationships

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian
Age Appearance Body Old

The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes; then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Appearance Body Men People Women

They don't make 'em too big for this business.

(1928 – ) American stripper, burlesque star & actress
Appearance Body Entertainment

She was known as a two bagger; that’s when a girl is so ugly that you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Ugly

She spends her day powdering her face till she looks like a bled pig.

(1864 –1945) Anglo-Scottish socialite, author & wit
Appearance Body Insults

The most dangerous thing about American food?… the portions.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Appearance Body Fat Food/Drink

You’re as pretty as any of them… you just need a nose job.

(1949 – ) American actor, comedian & writer
Appearance Body TV/Movie Quotes

A bleeding heart can be hell on the carpeting.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Body Characteristics Situations Things