Subject: Appearance » Clothing

… an old man who dresses like a Hooter’s waitress.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing Hair Insults

Women’s styles may change, but their designs remain the same.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Clothing People Women

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view.

(1934 – ) Italian actress
Appearance Clothing People Women

I angered the clerk in a clothing shop today; she asked me what size I was and I said actual, because I am not to scale.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing People Self

There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Appearance Clothing Money Poverty

You know you're getting old when kids start to dress like you used to.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Age Appearance Clothing Old

It is totally impossible to be well dressed in cheap shoes.

(1909 – 2003) English fashion designer
Appearance Clothing

There are two times in a woman’s life when clothes are important: when she is young and when she is old.

writer
Appearance Clothing People Women

Clothes and manners do not make the man; but, when he is made, they greatly improve his appearance.

(1813 – 1887) American clergyman, social reformer & abolitionist
Appearance Clothing

I had a girlfriend that was so fat she wore a "Cross Your Thighs" bra.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing Fat Girlfriends People

You might be a redneck if… you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks

Bikini: Baiting Suit.

Clothing Definitions

There has ceased to be a difference between my awake clothes and my asleep clothes.

(1979 – ) American actress, comedian & writer
Appearance Clothing

I never put on a pair of shoes until I’ve worn them at least five years.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Appearance Clothing Misspokements Time

Judge not a man by his clothes, but by his wife's clothes.

(1864 – 1930) Scottish whisky distiller
Appearance Clothing Men People Wives

I got a run in my neon stockings.

Clothing Malaprops

Niles and I have decided to donate all your things to charity. We’re donating your clothes to the blind.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

I manufactured clown shoes… which was no small feat.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Clothing Work

Armor: The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Clothing Communication Definitions Language

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up; so which one's the real hero?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Clothing Husbands Marriage