Subject: Appearance » Fat (Page 7)

She's so fat… when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

You always know when he's ready for sex, ’cause naked, he looked like one of them butterball turkeys with the little pop-up timer.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian

He is so fat… his shadow weighs 12 pounds.

I was not a particularly small child; I was the one who always got picked to play Bethlehem in the school play.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian

Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of women.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.

I was never over-weight, just under-tall; the correct height for my weight at the moment is seven feet ten and a half inches.

(1951 – ) Irish comedian & singer

I’m so fat and I’m so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself – but the rope broke.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Outside every thin woman is a fat man trying to get in.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

There's a new slimming course just out where they remove all your bones; not only do you weigh less, but you also look so much more relaxed.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor

The meal is not over when I'm full – the meal is over when I hate myself.

Louis Szekely (1967 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & director

I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

He is so fat… his blood type is Ragu.

When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight; when a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

He is so fat… people jump over him rather than go around.

It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.

(1943 – ) English rock singer

She is so fat… she broke the family tree.

He is so fat… when his beeper goes off, people think he's backing up.

She is so fat… the police told her to break it up.