Subject: Appearance (Page 35)

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Appearance Body Characteristics Fat

A quarter-ounce of chocolate = four pounds of fat.

Body Fat Murphy’s Laws

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion rules, including: both of your socks should always be the same color, or they should at least both be fairly dark.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Clothing Men People

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

Appearance Body Definitions

I always take my wife morning tea in my pajamas, but is she grateful?… no, she says she'd rather have it in a cup.

(1926 – 1984) English comedian
Characteristics Clothing

But he was the worst dresser in organized baseball; he made Inspector Clouseau look like a candidate for Mr. Blackwell's list of best-dressed men.

American baseball pitcher
Appearance Basketball Clothing Sports

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

(1921 – 1984) British comedian & magician
Appearance Clothing

Merely because the group is in formation does not mean that the group is on the right course.

Appearance Murphy’s Laws

He was so ugly… he hurt my feelings.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Appearance Body Ugly

If you ever thought you were ugly, Los Angeles is the place to come and find out you were right.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Places

Horses just naturally have Mohawk haircuts.


Animals Appearance

If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

Clothing Murphy’s Laws Ugly

You know the message you’re sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You’re telling the world, ‘I give up.’

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

Behind every successful man, you’ll find a woman who has nothing to wear.

(1908 – 1997) American actor
Appearance Clothing Men People Success Women

He is so fat… I had to take a train and two buses just to get on his good side.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

The baby is fine; the only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Insults Relationships Ugly

I now consider it a good day when I don’t step on my boobs.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Body Old

I used to look like this when I was young and now I still do.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Appearance Body Yogi-isms

Maternity sweater, $52. Comes in unisex sizes.

Classifieds Clothing

I haven’t seen this many white people in tuxedos since the Titanic.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

Trying to get a little kid dressed is like gift-wrapping an octopus.

American writer
Appearance Children Clothing Family