Subject: Appearance (Page 46)

She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Appearance Insults

Her hair lounges on her shoulders like an anesthetized cocker spaniel.

American journalist & critic
Appearance Hair Insults

It is my theory you can't get rid of fat… all you can do is move it around, like furniture.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Appearance Body Fat

I got a book for my birthday “How to make it big.” I had to take it back, it was about money

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body

Chanel No. 5

(1926 – 1962) actress, sex symbol
Appearance Clothing

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Girls

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body; then I realized who was telling me this.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Body Intelligence

It’s a great shock at the age of five or six to find that in a world of Gary Coopers you are the Indian.

(1924 – 1987) American novelist, writer, playwright, poet & civil rights activist
Appearance People

It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.

(1817 – 1862) American author, poet, philosopher,, naturalist & historian
Appearance Intelligence Wisdom

My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body

You know you’re getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don’t know anyone who can see through it.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Clothing Old

The sane appear as strange to the mad as the mad to the sane.

(1933 – 1967) English playwright
Appearance Intelligence

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Appearance Characteristics Clothing

Cleavage: Something which excites disapproval in everyone but the audience.

Body Definitions

The cost of the hairdo is directly related to the strength of the wind.

Appearance Hair Murphy’s Laws

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?


Appearance Body Fat Sports

He looked very thin and emancipated.

Appearance Body Malaprops

He is so fat… when he steps on a scale, it reads "one at a time, please."

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

He's a disappointed narcissist.

(1949 – ) English actor, writer & theater director
Appearance Body Insults

Have you ever taken something out of the clothes hamper because it had become, relatively, the cleanest thing?

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Appearance Clothing Housework

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Body Ugly