Subject: Appearance (Page 48)

Little things start to change in your life — like your socks start to get tight.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat

She's all done up like a well-kept grave.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Age Appearance Insults Old

It’s a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I’d be rotten to the core.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body

Beauty is only skin deep, but it is a valuable asset if you are poor or have not any sense.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Appearance

Tube Dress: A dress which is an extended boob tube.

Clothing Definitions

It's hard having a big nose… all my pullover shirts have stretch marks.

comedian
Appearance Body

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Body Characteristics Money Work

Nothing looks as good close up as it does from far away.

Appearance Murphy’s Laws

All other things being equal, a bald man cannot be elected President of the United States.

Appearance Government Hair Murphy’s Laws President

He's a trellis for varicose veins.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Appearance Body Insults

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian
Age Appearance Body Old

Is that your wife? … Oh, well, keep your chin up.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Fat Insults

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

Appearance Body Death Eating Life Proverbs

Elizabeth Taylor looks like two small boys fighting underneath a thick blanket.

Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer
Appearance Insults

You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, which doesn’t say much for you.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

No one is as ugly as their passport photo.

Appearance Murphy’s Laws Ugly

I’m the female equivalent of a counterfeit $20 bill; half of what you see is a pretty good reproduction, the rest is a fraud.

(1946 – ) American recording artist, actress, director & record producer
Appearance Body People Self

I suppose you know you have a wonderful body; I’d like to do it in clay.

(1925 – ) American singer & actress
Appearance Body

Dressing a baby is like putting an octopus into a string bag, making sure none of the arms hang out.

(1951 – ) British writer
Appearance Children Clothing Family Situations

I'm not saying the wife's ugly, but last Christmas she stood under the mistletoe waiting for someone to kiss and she was still there at lent.

(1931 – 1993) English comedian
Appearance Insults

I’d like to borrow [Cassius] Clay’s body for 48 hours. There are three guys I’d like to beat up and four women I’d like to make love to.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Appearance Body Boxing Sports