Subject: Appearance (Page 50)

Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Clothing People Women

Fashion: Something that goes out of style as soon as most people have one.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

The last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Ugly

My general appearance, and especially my face, have always been a source of depression to me.

(1878 – 1931) Irish artist
Appearance People Self

All I can say is, if they show my butt in a movie, it better be a wide shot.

(1969 – ) American actress, dancer, singer & entrepreneur
Appearance Body People Self

I said to my husband, ‘My boobs have gone, my stomach’s gone, say something nice about my legs;’ he said, ‘Blue goes with everything.’

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Old

Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Body Sex

Natural Bust Enlargement with Total Mind Power

Appearance Body Book Titles

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Girls

A lot of bars have black lights, and when a bar has black lights, everybody looks very cool… except for me because I was under the impression that the mustard stain came out.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Situations

Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Body Definitions

I not only get recognized – I get recognized from behind.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Appearance Body

There's only one thing wrong with my wife's face – it shows.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Ugly

No matter what time of year it’s always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween!

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Appearance

I think one reason they cal them Relaxed Fit jeans is that Ass the Size of Texas jeans would not sell very well.

Appearance Clothing

His favorite exercise is climbing tall people.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body People

I have little feet because nothing grows in the shade.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Appearance Body

I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Dating Hair

She’s so ugly… when she entered an ugly contest the judges said, "No professionals."

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Fashion is something that goes in one year and out the other.


Appearance Clothing

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Appearance Insults Marriage