Subject: Characteristics (Page 49)

To err is human to forgive, infrequent.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Characteristics Failure Mistakes Problems

He’s gettin’ above his raisin.'

Characteristics

Some people think of the glass as half full; some people think of the glass as half empty; I think of the glass as too big.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics

Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Characteristics

I've upped my standards; now, up yours.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Characteristics

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics Family Relationships

Football doesn’t build character; it eliminates the weak ones.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Characteristics Football Sports

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Characteristics Driving Situations

There is no substitute for good manners… except, perhaps, fast reflexes.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

Man invented language to satisfy his inner need to complain.

(1935 – ) screenwriter, author, director & producer
Characteristics Communication Ideas Language

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Characteristics People

Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Animals Characteristics Proverbs

The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.

(1905 – 1982) American mystery writer (co-author of Ellery Queen stories
Characteristics People Women

One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Age Characteristics Honesty People Truth Women

You are so lazy if you had a third hand, you’d need a third pocket to put it in.

Characteristics Expressions

Anyone can tell the truth, but only very few of us can make epigrams.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Characteristics Communication Language Reading/Writing Truth

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Lies People Truth

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Insults

Duty is what one expects from others, it is not what one does oneself.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics People

My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert;’ I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine.’

(1956 – ) American comedian
Characteristics Situations

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics