Subject: Characteristics (Page 5)

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

Characteristics

He’s suffering from a lack of self of steam.

Characteristics Malaprops

Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Characteristics

I had to give up masochism – I was enjoying it too much.

(1931 – 1994) British cartoonist
Characteristics Emotions

I’ve been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks; the rest of them take after the other side of the family.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
America Characteristics Family Fathers People Places

I left the room with silent dignity, but caught my foot in the mat.

(1847 – 1912) English comedian, writer, composer, actor & singer
Characteristics Situations

A good novel tells us the truth about it's hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Books Characteristics Communication Honesty Reading/Writing Truth

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

The young are generally full of revolt, and are often pretty revolting about it.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Age Characteristics Young

I’m a colored, one-eyed Jew – do I need anything else?

(1925 – 1990) American entertainer
Characteristics

Life is just a bowl of pits.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Food/Drink Life

I'm not indecisive; am I indecisive?

(1947 – ) American politician & mayor
Characteristics Self

My wife gets so jealous; she came home from work and was mad at me because there was a pretty girl on the bus she thought I would have liked.

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Characteristics Marriage Wives

Ellen Page says that the sexism in Hollywood is constant; you might remember her from her movie Juno, where she played a mouthy chick with no tits.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Characteristics Hollywood Places

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Animals Characteristics Life

A combination of Little Nell and Lady Macbeth.

(1887 – 1943) theater critic & commentator
Characteristics

I believe in equality; equality for everybody; no matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Beliefs Characteristics Self

Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Problems

Sure men were born to lie, and women, to believe them.

(1685 – 1732) English writer
Characteristics Honesty Lies Men People Women

Adolescence is that time of life when you discover your ability to be depressed.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Age Characteristics

1. No matter what they're telling you, they're not telling you the whole truth. 2. No matter what they're talking about, they're talking about money.

Characteristics Honesty Lies Money Murphy’s Laws Truth