Subject: Characteristics (Page 7)

I have often wished I had time to cultivate modesty… but I am too busy thinking about myself.

(1887 – 1964) English biographer, critic, novelist & poet
Characteristics

When one guy sees an invisible man he’s a nut case; ten people see him it’s a cult; ten million people see him it’s a respected religion.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Characteristics God Intelligence Religion

The status quo sucks.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Situations

Sooner or later, I'll be punctual.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Characteristics Time

Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anesthetic.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Wives

He who hesitates is sometimes saved.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Characteristics

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Characteristics Failure Intelligence Mistakes People

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Death People Self

Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.

(1935 – ) screenwriter, author, director & producer
Characteristics Emotions People Self

The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Age Characteristics Life

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist
Animals Cats Characteristics People

Optimist: A middle-aged man who believes that the cleaners have been shrinking the waistband of his pants.

Body Characteristics Definitions People

No matter how cynical you get, it’s impossible to keep up.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Characteristics

Nothing is as dangerous as an unemployed lawyer.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Characteristics Government Law Lawyers

Whatever else can be said about sex, it cannot be called a dignified performance.

(1907 – 1982) American journalist, editor & author
Characteristics Sex

Prejudiced people are all alike.

Characteristics People

An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be.

Characteristics People

Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Activities Beliefs Characteristics Clothing Lies Sports

A set of rules laid out by professionals to show the way they would like to act if it was profitable.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Characteristics Money

Slicker than a greased eel.

Characteristics Expressions

People who have no weaknesses are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them.

(1844 – 1924) French novelist
Characteristics People